Body image thoughts

Sitting here tonight at a park people watching I see so many body shapes and sizes. Everyone that I see is having fun znd enjoying their kids playing on the equipment. Over the years I have learned to embrace my body shape but that still does not stop the self dought and self hatred for not having a body that is in shape. I have been over my size ideal weight my entire adult life but not over weight. That mom bod with the wonderful middle weight after having three kiddos. 

Right now I am about 20+ pounds over where I should be at....but I don't care. I'm happy with my body and how I look. 

Is it because I am now 40? Is it because we don't go out much with the pandemic. Maybe because I haven't put jeans on since February? Who knows. I hope this feeling stays and that I don't gain anymore. Hahaha....i had better not. 

On our walk back to the Jeep I finally figured out why I still do have some anxiety about body size. I got that look, you know that up and down look of judgment from a fellow female that was very disapproving. She was all dressed up, full makeup and hair done. I could feel her eyes judging me and saying to herself how coukd she come out like that...She was on what appeared to be a date with her boyfriend, probably still in college or younger, its hard to tell these days. Rest assured my feelings of anxiety only lasted for a few seconds. I reflected on who I am and what I have in my life - faith, family, friends and career. Its silly how other peoples thoughts and actions can have an affect on you. Guess I'm not completely over these feelings but I sure am getting there. One day maybe...

Keep believing in who you are, what you have been through, what you have accomplished and thank God for being there and your family. Life is a true blessing. Be who God made and love it! Thats just how he wants you to be.